Bad, Bad, Blogger

OK so just thought I let you know this is going to be my last post until Jan 2nd. We are packing EVERYTHING up at my job because we are doing remodeling for winter break and I wont have access to a computer starting... soon (next Monday to be exact). So the office is like madness right now... work, work, work, & packing, packing, packing. Cant wait for winter break - I feel like I am going to scream.

I will be purchasing a personal computer the first week of January so I will have plenty of time to make awesome blogs and post lost of pictures ... YAY..


Alright everyone.. I am off for the night so time to get home.

Moody Monday

Talking about waking up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I don't know what my deal is but I already feel in a crappy mood and I have only been up for an hour. I think it is a number of things that are coming up and I finally realized I have to deal with them regardless if I care to or not. My Aunt Flo is in town so I am  dealing with her at this moment. My house is filthy and since it was my hunny's birthday bash over the weekend I didn't get any house chores done so I plan on doing it ALL tonight. Also, I work for a school so we have a two week breaking coming up, which is usually a GOOD thing. However, we will be having some remodeling done so the next couple weeks we have to purge anything we can and pack everything else up....oh, all while still being open... "yay"! Plus, I still have Xmas shopping to do and a few more bills to pay. I do have some fun stuff coming up but the stress of my to do list is starting to hit me and starting my day in a pissy mood makes me even more upset.

As for my weight loss progress, I have still been doing good with my food choices. I mentioned a bit ago, that it was my hunny's birthday "bash" over the weekend, Saturday to be exact. We got together with family and friends and went to Buffalo Wild Wings and a bar afterwards. The restaurant wasn't that great and although I order chicken wings I only got a order of six and that was it besides my glass of water. Once at the bar, I ordered one mixed drink and held on to it the entire night. I really shocked myself with that! Once I'm in the bar I usually start with good intentions but then my evil twin comes out and she likes to party! Not Saturday though, it was actually I pretty calm night for me.

Even though I manage to keep myself at a one drink limit and I STILL woke up sick the next day. Not a "pass the aspirin" sick but a "booger face" sick. It was freezing the night before and I sacrificed being warm for looking cute, wrong choice. I stood in bed most of yesterday and barely ate so yesterday is a no brainer that I stood within my daily calorie range.

Today, I had originally planned to go back to the gym but seriously my house is horrible and a dirty house just adds to my stress and makes me depressed. As much house work as I have ahead of me, I'm pretty sure I will be sweating by the end of it.

Things are REALLY Flowing Now!

Quick Update-

I have been doing pretty damn good! Well with making good food choices and keeping my portions in check. I have been measuring all my food and entering into my LoseIt app so I know I have been within my daily calorie range.

As for exercise......

((slowly starts tip toeing away))

Ok, ok .. I admit it! I haven't done anything this entire week. Things have been popping up and I can use that as an excuse for not going to the gym but I can NOT use it for an excuse as to why I didn't do my video at home. I guess I haven't fully got my mojo back just yet but I am definitely on the road to getting their.

I weighed myself this morning and boy did I have a nice little surprise down between my feet. 200!
Yup -5lbs in 4 days and I owe all that to extra servings of vegetables. As gross as this might be, I was plugged up! Eating fast food and all that other junk I was shoveling down my throat was not allowing me to use the restroom as often as I should had been. Replacing the junk with dark greens has definitely got things "flowing" and that's sad to think just a few days ago I was 5lbs heavier with sh....! ((Barf))

Recap Day 2

So yesterday went GREAT! I didn't starve myself and I was able to keep the food cravings to a minimum. Babe took me shopping after work and was really helpful with helping me plan out meals for the next week or two. That's exciting for me because I feel like I am actually taking steps to getting back on track rather than just running my mouth about it. As for workouts, I have yet to start any. I had plans to go with my sis last night but after grocery shopping it just got too late for both of us, so we have made plans for tonight. ---FYI I skipped the movie too.

Well that was pretty much the highlight of yesterday and I just wanted to share with you all. Be in touch soon. :)

End of Day 1

Well it's midnight and I'm still up and I have not snacked! I'm gettin a little anxious but I'm getting ready to turn off the tv and hopefully end my day dreaming about fries, pb & j's, & anything & everything else that has popped into my head since dinner at 8pm. I logged my calories for the day and I'm not proud to say I am way under because I know that's not healthy but I have nothing currently in my kitchen that I can consider a "good choice". Toldja...I really gave up on myself and stop stocking my kitchen of the right stuff. Fortunately, I received some money I had been waiting for today and I plan on purchasing things I NEED to be eating tomorrow.

Off Subject-
Geez...I'm still thinking about food!! ...Bad food!! I feel like I'm going nuts right now

Back to subject-
Since I thought I was flat broke I didn't plan on hitting the gym because the fuel light came on and I was already stressing off gas to get home let alone gas to get to the gym. Now that I have money for gas, me and my sis plan on seeing Breaking Dawn again tomorrow (jumps for joy) then gym afterwards. Yes, I know I could of did something at home but I feel like I'm battling food demons and it is not a good feeling. Feeling like this reminds me how bad I hit rock bottom again! I really am starting all over and this feeling sucks!

It's funny but not ...but I have asked my hunny to be my "food sponsor". People laugh when I say that and to be honest it does sound kinda lame but I really need one. I constantly crave bad foods (during the first weeks of cleansing) and I am not the type of person to go get it myself. I beg, bitch, & cry to have it brought to me but I will not get my big ass up and go get it myself. Lol you are probably thinking damn I should be skinny if I never go get bad food but nope my Dad and Hunny will cook or buy me food because that's just what my family does to show affection we feed each other. Really, I don't know how many times I have been having a bad day and my dad or hunny will bring me a favorite food to cheer me up. Food is equivalent to a hug around here.& for all the other days ...I'm just spoiled and am used to getting what I want when I ask. Sounds bratty but hey, I'm just being honest. So back to babe being my sponsor, he has once again agreed to denying my food requests and of course with my permission can be an ass when need be

Well, that's how day 1 went & ready or not day 2 is next.

What's my deal?!

I'm embarrassed to even post anything anymore. I talk all this big crap when I am sitting at my desk about how "today is the day" and "I'm back!" but once I get home and it's time to live up to all my promises I've made - I don't. I start in with the "tomorrow talk" and "maybe next Monday" or "after this holiday". I realized today I have made a 360 and have ended up exactly where I was at last year, weight included. I am not motivated at all and I'm sad once again. I weighed myself this morning and I am back at 205! (right where I was this time last year). I feel horrible.

I signed up for a two year gym membership and I am nearing the end of the first year and haven't did anything with it (that has stuck anyways).I cant let this next year go by with this membership and not change anything about myself. I hate to sound like a broken record but today I will be going back. To be quite honest, I am not pumped at all. I feel (once again) at my lowest on how I have let myself get to this point. But last night I downloaded my LoseIt app once again. ....Really, that's how much I gave up, I deleted the app off my phone.

I know I said previously how I would be posting pictures but I think it would be best to wait on that until the end of the year when I purchase a computer. I think I am currently the only person that doesn't have one at home. I do mainly all my blogging at work but just been busy lately so I am going to have to cut down on my personal use and focus more on work. & Posting pictures from my cell is out of the question.. my smart phone isn't that smart apparently (I tried ... total fail).

So once again ladies, Day 1

Game Plan

I have been thinking all day about jumping back into my workout routines and then it hit me... I'm scared! I'm starting to look back at my post yesterday and boy I sound like big sh*t but I'm starting to feel like it was all talk. (ugh, snap out of it woman!) I think now that I have no more excuses reality is starting to set in and once again I'm fearing the gym.

So here is my game plan....

I think breaking up my overall weightloss goal into small fun mini goals helps make this process seem more achievable and less overwhelming. So I was looking over my upcoming events and the Drake concert is just 31 days away! What's something I can do in 30 days? I'm sure you guessed it.... The 30 Day Shred!

I have tried this video twice and always stop after the 6th day. Every time I even think of that damn DVD I cringe. The PAIN Jillian puts me through in 20 minutes is ridiculous and the next day is no walk in the park! But all BS to the side, it is a hell of a work out and a great way to get my big badonkadonk moving again. So starting tonight, my goal is to start and FINISH the 30 Day Shred.

Tonight I will get measured and take pictures of myself and have them posted tomorrow. Before and after shots are always a plus.

Wish me luck! ;-)