Tuesday, November 29, 2011

End of Day 1

Well it's midnight and I'm still up and I have not snacked! I'm gettin a little anxious but I'm getting ready to turn off the tv and hopefully end my day dreaming about fries, pb & j's, & anything & everything else that has popped into my head since dinner at 8pm. I logged my calories for the day and I'm not proud to say I am way under because I know that's not healthy but I have nothing currently in my kitchen that I can consider a "good choice". Toldja...I really gave up on myself and stop stocking my kitchen of the right stuff. Fortunately, I received some money I had been waiting for today and I plan on purchasing things I NEED to be eating tomorrow.

Off Subject-
Geez...I'm still thinking about food!! ...Bad food!! I feel like I'm going nuts right now

Back to subject-
Since I thought I was flat broke I didn't plan on hitting the gym because the fuel light came on and I was already stressing off gas to get home let alone gas to get to the gym. Now that I have money for gas, me and my sis plan on seeing Breaking Dawn again tomorrow (jumps for joy) then gym afterwards. Yes, I know I could of did something at home but I feel like I'm battling food demons and it is not a good feeling. Feeling like this reminds me how bad I hit rock bottom again! I really am starting all over and this feeling sucks!

It's funny but not ...but I have asked my hunny to be my "food sponsor". People laugh when I say that and to be honest it does sound kinda lame but I really need one. I constantly crave bad foods (during the first weeks of cleansing) and I am not the type of person to go get it myself. I beg, bitch, & cry to have it brought to me but I will not get my big ass up and go get it myself. Lol you are probably thinking damn I should be skinny if I never go get bad food but nope my Dad and Hunny will cook or buy me food because that's just what my family does to show affection we feed each other. Really, I don't know how many times I have been having a bad day and my dad or hunny will bring me a favorite food to cheer me up. Food is equivalent to a hug around here.& for all the other days ...I'm just spoiled and am used to getting what I want when I ask. Sounds bratty but hey, I'm just being honest. So back to babe being my sponsor, he has once again agreed to denying my food requests and of course with my permission can be an ass when need be

Well, that's how day 1 went & ready or not day 2 is next.

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