not dead just broken

When people go missing and stop blogging it's usually because they fell off the wagon. Well, I fell but it was more a trip over my own feet & ended up with a broken elbow and right pinky. I pretty much don't have any use of either one of my arms. I've been.struggling with the fact I have to rely on everyone for EVERYTHING! Yes everything ...use your imagination. Not only being upset about not being able to care for myself I won't be able to train anymore for my 5 k. I suppose I can still run, I have use of my legs; but how ridiculous would I look running down the street with a full arm cast & my other hand in a splint. Thank god for my phone having a talk and type feature or else this post woulda been impossible. Well I figured I would update you because I did not want you to think I disappeared but I'm in recovery and I'll be back soon.



To be continued....


Pookie

NOT fat afterall

Schweddy Balls

If you ever watch SNL there was an skit they did about Schweddy Balls it was hilarious! I am not even going to attempt to tell it because I will ruin the entire thing so I have included a link  here.

Anywho Ben & Jerry (from Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream) must of thought it was funny to because they made an ice cream and called it ........

Diet or no diet I am prepared to find this and eat it! As Alec Baldwin said, "No one can resist my Schweddy balls."

LOL!



Now back to business. Last night I went for my 4th night of working out and I couldnt do it. I literally couldnt move my foot. I jogged for the first 9 minutes and then after that it was too difficult to control my foot it kinda just flopped around so I just sat and rested a bit before leaving. I'm not going to let that discourage me though, I plan on going back tonight. However, I am going to lay off the treadmill for the next couple of nights and let my legs recover. Well here is my time and distance for last night.

"uhh, I'm fine..?"

If you are keeping track, last night was day 3 of training and although I really didn't want to go I did. Before I got to the gym I had already decided that I would not be jogging at all because my legs are just way to sore to even walk at this point let alone jog. Plus I figured, as long as I got my big ass on the treadmill that was still good enough.

Fast forward 40 minutes into my walk.

There was a older gentleman that was jogging/walking next to me and I kept noticing him staring over at me. As you have probably noticed already, people are super nosey at my gym and are always trying to be in the kool aid when they dont even know the flavor. Finally when I hit my 2 mile mark I paused my machine just to stretch a bit and I think he thought I was done because he leans over and says, "Now don't over do it, it's just one day at a time" and I smiled and nodded then he says, "Are you ok? Are you breathing all right?" Somewhat confused, I responded, "uhh, I'm fine.". Now I'm sure he was just being nice and wanted to make sure I was ok but come on now I was only walking, not even a fast walk just walking. Crap, I wasnt even sweating! After that I found myself arguing with myself in my head. Was he being mean because I'm fat and if so he should of seen me the night before dammit! But then I thought, no he was really nice how he said it and I'm sure he was just trying to be helpful. But then I kept thinking if I was 40lbs less I'm sure he wouldn't  have been concerned about the girl next to him taking a stroll. I know I shouldn't let it bother me because it's so small but I am. It made me think I must look huge and helpless to people and the thought of that just sucks.

Now rewind 30 minutes

While I was walking I had already decided I wasn't going to stay and complete my 3.10 miles and I would only be doing  2 miles for the day.

Fast forward right after the conversation with the man..

After that incident happen with that man I was determine to finish my hour even though I was still very much against it still my legs were really sore and I was tired.. I know excuses, excuses.So I kept walking just to prove that I was ok and I was breathing fine and I could walk.

I know I am going to get over it but I wish I was already over it. Usually things like that don't ever bother me and I could careless what someone thinks or says to me but I still don't get why I took something that I know wasn't meant to be cruel but twist it in my head to make it be. -- I think I'm crazy or was just having a bad day because deep down inside I wanted to run and felt like I was in a way using my soreness for an excuse. -- Thank you Dr.Phil for figuring that one out.

Alright, enough with the cry baby story here are my times for last night. Good or bad I will be posting them and last night wasnt that great but here they are anyways.

                                               The cool down period started so thats why it is showing I have 5 mins left

Eating Chips while getting Ripped

There is this man that comes to my job every other week or so and he is known as the Munchie Man, I call him the devil.You are probably thinking "O that's harsh!" but if have ever seen Adam Sandler's movie, The Waterboy then you know I'm only being funny. Anyways, he has tons of treats that are overpriced and delicious and I hate him! My sister happens to work here at the same office as me and it's a constant war between good & evil when he comes & surprisingly (well lately) we both have been good & able to resist his horrible yet delicious temptations. However, when he came yesterday I was unprepared for this vicious attack he had in store for me. He always announces his self when he comes into the office and I instantly put my guard up for both my pants and wallet but when I heard my sister call for me I knew this was going to be a hell of a battle. He already had got her on his side so now I felt alone and vulnerable but I knew I HAD to get through it. As I cautiously approached the front I seen my sister already had the item in hand ready to help the Munchie Man score a sale. But as she revealed the item to me I was pleasantly surprised...

                                                             Vegetable Chips!

                      Veggies Chips:     Serving Size: 1 oz. (28g), Calories: 130, Fat: 7g, Carbs: 15g, Protein: 1g

·                                     Potato Chips:     Serving Size: 1 package, Calories: 160, Fat: 10g, Carbs: 15g, Protein: 2g

Nff

                                                                     Not a huge difference but still a difference

Now one thing about me you should know is.. I LOVE POTATOES! So chips are up there on my list of things I must have.  It does contain salt which I really don't like but I figured for a small snack every now and then, this was awesome. Plus my sis treated me so that was another bonus. Thanks Sis!

Since I'm already talking about my sister, she shared a link with me yesterday about this trainer that is getting obese on purpose in order to have a better understanding of his clients struggle with weight. He has a website called Fit 2 Fat 2 Fit, but the server has been down but definitely check on it to see if its up and running. Any who.... I put the link below, I thought it was an interesting article and figured I would share.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/why-a-personal-trainer-is-making-himself-obese-on-purpose-2583990/

Now on to my highlight of last night....

Yesterday was my second day training for the upcoming 5k & once again I amazed myself. Last night when i got to the gym I found myself playing music treadmills with a few other people that got there the same time as me. It's funny how no one wants to be right next to each other....why?...beats the hell outta me. So after everyone finally found their spots I was left with the one in between Mr. Amazing and Mrs. Wonderful. sigh... In my little head I thought "oh god, I am going to fall over in front of these two" because I knew already that I would try to keep the same pace as them so I wouldn't look as if I didn't belong of couldn't hang. Well guess what?......I out ran Mrs. Wonderful and Mr. Amazing quickly caught on to me and what I was doing. So I notice he tried to up his game and I kept my little legs moving and I kept noticing him glancing over at my time/speed. But guess what I kick his ass too! He stopped his treadmill and kind of stood and looked at mine for a while as I kept trucking and as bad as I wanted to say "Booya!" I kept it cool and didn't. So with that said, I feel like yesterday was a great workout...Even though I'm paying for it now.


                                                                My first mile time

Woohoo!



The little engine that could

I had originally planned to post my treadmill times at night before bed but apparently my phone had other plans. It wont let me post any pictures! So I guess I will be doing it the following morning...eh, no biggie.

Last night was my first of 38 days of preparing for my 5k. I must say, I was shocked! I did a hell of a lot better than what I could of imagine for it being my first night. Except for the 2-3 times I thought I seen the light, I was really able to push through it. Besides walking a little funny today I am really looking forward to going tonight.



 Yesterday I talked about how I needed to cut my 1 mile time down by 2 minutes in order to make my goal of 5k in 45 but check this out! WooHoo

Actually I did it in 14:10 but I couldn't stop the treadmill lol.

This is awesome! I was really proud when I seen this time!

Now this is my dilemma, I thought completing a 5k in 45 minutes would be really pushing myself but after last night I really feel like I can push a little harder. I not sure if I should set a goal time for myself because I don't want to set the bar to low or high. In a way, I feel I should just see how it all pans out since this is my first event. Any thoughts?

Day 1 of 38 -5k training-

To start off I just came back from lunch so being stuffed and even the thought about working out right now sucks! LOL - btw- It was just a salad and not a crazy one topped with cheeses and yummyness just a regular salad and about 3 cups of water. Which is the reason why I think I am really stuffed.

But any who... I currently have 38 days until the 5k I am particpating in is here..eek!..A goal I have set for myself is to finish the 5k under 50 minutes but I think I am going to push it a bit further and say I want to finish it at 45 minutes. On average I am doing a mile in 17 minutes so I would cut that down to 15 minutes if I plan on achieving that goal.

My plan: I am going to the gym everyday for the next 38 days and I'm going to run my a$$ off.. Starting tonight! So that means.... I will be posting pictures of my treadmill times every night before bed (o joy!).

Ugh... what have I got myself into?!

1st Weigh - In!

This post is going to be short and sweet since I'm posting through my phone. Today is my first official weigh-in and drum roll please.................

Now even though I'm excited about the 8lbs lost I not going to get to big headed just yet. I'm sure we all know the first 10-15 lbs flys off then its a lot harder and slower after that but I'm definitely feeling my weight loss mojo flowing again and I'm ready to get this weight off once and for all. But I would be lying if I said seeing that number on the scale didn't make me smile :)

Getting involved

My problem has always been getting involved and (if I do get involved) staying motivated. Yesterday I was doing some browsing and I came across a flyer for a 5k Run & Walk Against Hunger event. Haha - I'm fat and hungry and I'm going to walk/run in a walk against hunger- how ironic. I figured it was a good way to get involved and do something good for our local food bank and plus push myself to train for a 5k. I'm actually really excited and I think I am going to start posting picture of my treadmill times to track my progress. FYI The 5k is on Thanksgiving so I cant think of a more perfect way to start that day than with a good workout!

I think another thing that pushed me to search for a walk/run event yesterday was I got a text from a friend. It wasn't of a kitty hanging on for dear life with a inspirational quote or a chain text threatening my well being if I don't send to my closest 10 friends  ... but .. a picture...a picture of me.This must of been when I was at least 15-16 years old (btw I'm 24 now) but wow.. it really mad me upset at myself. I was so thin and yes I know I was 16 in the picture but my friends standing in the picture with me are all the same size and it made me question why wasn't I? I don't have kids or anything else I can blame it on, just lazy. Shame on me. I'm going to be posting some pics soon it just hard because I don't have a computer at home at the moment so I do what I can from work. But on that note here is the pic I was sent .. I'm the one on the right.

Tired Tuesday

I'm so sleepy! I guess I could have made a post yesterday and called it miserable Monday but I think one not so chipper post is enough for a week. Honestly, I think it is just this weather. I have been noticing I have been getting a little stuffy and a slight cough in the morning so hopefully this is the worst of it. Besides my Eeyore like attitude, I still made it to the gym the last night and managed to get 2 miles in. To be quite honest I am not looking forward to going tonight but I will be there.

Ugh.. I need some coffee.

Randomness & Mini Goals

Quick Thought --

I can think of two reasons why weight loss right at this moment will be hard (for me)

1. All the "delicious" holidays are right around the corner.

2. Two words, McDonald's Monopoly

:(

On to something a little less pathetic... Last night my sis offered to meet me at the gym and I declined not because I was feeling lazy but I wanted to clean my unfit for human habitation room. When I got home I was ready to tackle the task but I decided that's what weekends are for, right? So I changed into my gym clothes and headed out. & although I didn't do a full hour as I hoped to, I did do 2 miles in 34 minutes! I am pretty pleased with that because I didn't think my little stumpy legs could push that hard. Happy Dance!

Anyways...Tonight will be a good night. My sis and I have plans on doing some thrifty shopping and the gym afterwards. I'm actually looking forward to getting on the treadmill and seeing how far I can get tonight. Now that I think about it, I don't think it would be a bad idea to get some mini goals in place for me to complete by the end of the year. Hmmmm... Ok got it!

1. Lose 25lbs by January 1st
That would be awesome! It would put me in the 170's which I haven't seen in YEARS.

2. Run 5 miles in an hour.
I've been close to it in the past but I never pushed myself hard enough to do it. This time I am.

According to my little countdown widget it says I have 86 days to complete these goals. Bring it!

A sign from the weight loss gods

In my previous post I mentioned how I started the year off great and was on a roll ( or should I say losing rolls), but what I failed to mention is what put me on the weight loss band wagon.

My job is constantly offering "wellness programs" that help us manage our stress, fitness, and health. Well, in the beginning of the year, we were offered a program that was described as a virtual hike. If we decided to participate we would be given pedometers and would have to register to this website that would track our steps. The more steps we enter the further our little dot would move on the map and the greater our chances grew to win prizes. Yes, prizes! WooHoo!  --- I was in!

Long story short, I turned into an exercise machine & won an iPod!  :)   But obviously I turned back into an eating machine. :(

Any who, I was feeling a lot better today because of my recent decision to get back into the swing of things and what pops up at work today?....Another offer for a new wellness program! Yay! Of course I was all over it and I swear to Bob (he is my imaginary weight loss god) he must have heard my cries for help because this email was sent at the right time. This is exactly what I needed to get my Mojo back and end the year great. The program offers a lot of great videos and mini challenges; it even has a health coach we can contact at anytime.

Oh yea did I mention more prizes! I have no clue what they are but free is always good.


Serious grown up moment time --

All BS to the side, I am glad I was given another opportunity like this. Regardless of the prizes, I plan on taking as much as possible from this experience and making the most out of it.

What the &%#@ am I doing?

So today I woke up feeling sad and instead of keeping it bottled up inside like I normally do, I decided to try something different and tell everyone. I told family, bloggers and of course my hunny. Thinking back now, they probably think I'm nuts but I decided I want to be happy and if I don’t reach out for help now then I won’t ever. Now you are probably thinking "oh dear, what's wrong with her?!" but I assure you I am stable I just need to make some adjustments in life that will only benefit me & what better way to be heard than to blog about it. What type of adjustments you ask? My health! I eat horrible, I don't exercise, and I drink. The sad thing about this is I started the year off great (as I'm sure most people do). I was always in the gym, eating well balanced meals and stopped drinking! This was short lived, as I quickly fell back into my old, but familiar habits. With these habits brought back another familiar friend, sadness. You would think being on such a great high and losing weight I would never fall back into my big girl pants but I did! I slithered right back into those bad boys & let me tell you it sucks! I'm tired of failing at my attempts to lose weight because really the key to success is control. Really... how hard is that? It's not like I have to fight off lions and eat fire. I just need to fight off myself.

So here I am. Day 1.....