Thursday, October 20, 2011

"uhh, I'm fine..?"

If you are keeping track, last night was day 3 of training and although I really didn't want to go I did. Before I got to the gym I had already decided that I would not be jogging at all because my legs are just way to sore to even walk at this point let alone jog. Plus I figured, as long as I got my big ass on the treadmill that was still good enough.

Fast forward 40 minutes into my walk.

There was a older gentleman that was jogging/walking next to me and I kept noticing him staring over at me. As you have probably noticed already, people are super nosey at my gym and are always trying to be in the kool aid when they dont even know the flavor. Finally when I hit my 2 mile mark I paused my machine just to stretch a bit and I think he thought I was done because he leans over and says, "Now don't over do it, it's just one day at a time" and I smiled and nodded then he says, "Are you ok? Are you breathing all right?" Somewhat confused, I responded, "uhh, I'm fine.". Now I'm sure he was just being nice and wanted to make sure I was ok but come on now I was only walking, not even a fast walk just walking. Crap, I wasnt even sweating! After that I found myself arguing with myself in my head. Was he being mean because I'm fat and if so he should of seen me the night before dammit! But then I thought, no he was really nice how he said it and I'm sure he was just trying to be helpful. But then I kept thinking if I was 40lbs less I'm sure he wouldn't  have been concerned about the girl next to him taking a stroll. I know I shouldn't let it bother me because it's so small but I am. It made me think I must look huge and helpless to people and the thought of that just sucks.

Now rewind 30 minutes

While I was walking I had already decided I wasn't going to stay and complete my 3.10 miles and I would only be doing  2 miles for the day.

Fast forward right after the conversation with the man..

After that incident happen with that man I was determine to finish my hour even though I was still very much against it still my legs were really sore and I was tired.. I know excuses, excuses.So I kept walking just to prove that I was ok and I was breathing fine and I could walk.

I know I am going to get over it but I wish I was already over it. Usually things like that don't ever bother me and I could careless what someone thinks or says to me but I still don't get why I took something that I know wasn't meant to be cruel but twist it in my head to make it be. -- I think I'm crazy or was just having a bad day because deep down inside I wanted to run and felt like I was in a way using my soreness for an excuse. -- Thank you Dr.Phil for figuring that one out.

Alright, enough with the cry baby story here are my times for last night. Good or bad I will be posting them and last night wasnt that great but here they are anyways.

                                               The cool down period started so thats why it is showing I have 5 mins left

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